~Is it worth it to do the things I do?~

Just came back from Bali now, still on the road trip.. Final trip
Is bandung, where we are gonna spend our new year..
Looks like there will be havoc created during new year.
About 25 ppl of all our family members gonna come together..
Not sure whether I'm excited about this or not >.<
Sometimes I love crowd, but more often I detest..huff

Bali was fantastic! As always.. We swam in the beach, we went suntan
We kayaked, we shopped and we drank wine and we loved..
And bali always make people want to come back again and
Again
Here we conclude 3 top reasons why people never get enough of Bali:
1. The place is heaven like, beaches every where..and nusa dua beach
The one we stayed at is damn clean and beautiful.
2.The people are super friendly and not evil, like criminally
Inclined
3. They are artistically inclined, a lot of things to see, like
Tari Kecak and Bagong

After the trip..
A lot of things on my mind after talking to ica..
I realise more than ever than I am very selfish and I really thibk
That I am not yet suited for a relationship..
Gonna tidy up myself before I should enter any relationship..

Qn in mind : will you consider a woman who decides not to be married
As selfish??

Loves, xoxo

"Aline"

Check out this song...currently in love with this song..
its in French and u can find out the lyrics online if u want..hahaha..
enjoy! its very nice, romantic and soothing :DD

im not broken

Borrowing this quote from someone I know, "I AM NOT BROKEN SO DON'T TRY TO FIX ME."

People make mistakes. Humans are not perfect. I am human therefore I do mistakes and I am not perfect.

how does a 21 behave?

Tell me..how does a 21 year-old behave??
its killing me that my parents are still treating me like a 13 year old. They dont only say that they do but they REALLY DO treat me like that.

Sure, I love them and at the end of the day I will understand why they do the things they do. But for now let me complain for a minute or so >.<

so..I have been in Pekanbaru for a mth plus by now, and obviously, having friends around I cant afford not to go out w my friends. and ever since I can drive, I just seem to enjoy it more and more. Long story short, I go out with my friends every alternate days and come back around 11 or 11.30. I sure need reassurance right now because I do know that many ppl my age go out till that late. And I tell u, only twice, only TWICE i came back at 12.30 am. and they are already screaming like nobody's business...

It drives me mad that now they tell me I can only go with my friends twice a week and have to come back before 11. PLEASE! I know that even 16 or 17 years old can get that kind of freedom already.

and the reason that they give for not letting me drive around until 12 am: "sa, this is a small city with high criminal rate. what if ur car broke down in the middle of nowhere and ppl robe u?worse they kidnap, and rape or kill?" >.<
haix I know that it is not impossible to happen but why do ppl around me always tend to think about the MOST negative things that can happen. haix..

I also sometimes pick up my friends, who are mostly guys, BUT there are girls too.
anw my dad said
"do u know u embarass me by picking up ur guy friends??its like saying u have to be after them, or it seems u r the one chasing them..what if their parents see and since u noe its a small city, news will be flying around and soon everybody will talk about how desparate my daughter is??
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! like kill meeeeeeeee
seriously..this is why i hate being in a small godforsaken city. T____T

I AM 21 and I need to be treated like a 21!! haix
they keep saying u shld first behave like a 21 so that we can see u as an adult and treat u like one.

SO people, my beloved friends, please tell me how does a 21 behave? cos bloody hell I have no freaking idea.

a cynic.

altho this is rather personal, but I really feel the need to get it out of my head and heart. and since whoever that have access to my blog should be people I trusted..so here goes..

I broke up w my latest bf because of my commitment problem.
Put it simply, I cannot commit to just one person >.<
call me whatever terms u can come out with.. but I'd rather do that then pretend I can, while doing stg disloyal to him..

I have a rather weird point of view, very unlike Asian u can say.
I don't want to get married. why? u may ask?
1. I don't trust anyone. especially guys. Guys who are loyal are like 1 out of 10. If you are lucky you get that 1, if you are not, u may think he is the 1, but... I dunno do u believe in e statement "what u dunno wont hurt u?"
2. I don't think I myself can commit to 1 person for the rest of my life.
3. I would rather work my ass off then staying at home bearing children. no offense to anyone who would prefer the opposite, im just a little bit of an workaholic >.<
4. I am an egoistic person. Myself and my parents are number 1 in my life. No one else will come close.

Because of the reasons I stated above, I think it would be more fair if I get into un-committed relationships because I don't want anybody to get hurt.

However, I won't deny that I might fall in love one day, and get married and have children. But I sincerely doubt it.. I was that kind of person last time, VERY INTO commitment. I dunno what changed me, but it is not at all my ex or exes fault..

I can cry because of watching some romantic drama or movie, but believing in it not so. I am quite cynical about this.. >.< Again, please no offense to anyone. Please read this post with an open mind, and if you feel offended feel free to stop right now and say "go to hell u heartless moron! "

anyway, I will be leaving Asia soon, and perhaps I will be leaving my Asian values too..
I always hope to get a European citizenship..but I am always wondering should I let go of my Indonesian citizenship or should I hold on and get a dual citizenship??
what do u all think??

A penny for your thought :)

French teacher is here! cheers everyone!

@ Pekanbaru

FINALLY! The woman accepted my application already, After much fuss again, of course. Last minute she asked us to make another copy of the document, when behind her clearly there was a copying machine. My grandpa had to run to find photocopy machine because she said she was closing in 10 mins time..=.=

but wahtever finally its over and im back at Pekanbaru.
My visa would probably come out arnd mid Dec..till then Im just at Pekan studying French 4 hours a day. I can tell you, French is MUCH MORE difficult than english.
Every single thing has a sex. Like table is a femina, livre(buku) is a mascula.
I can go on and on about how confusing it is, but im not here to teach French >.<

Nothing funny happened to me yet...so till then! ^^

@ Jakarta

i am now at jakarta.. been here for almost 2 weeks already.
e purpose of me being in jakarta was to settle the visa, but of course because of the woman at the embassy its still not settled till now.

first visit: i took 2 hrs long journey from BSD(tangerang) to the embassy, reach there at 9.30 only to get a response from her that i shld come back at 11.30
its nt my fault i came early..since when coming early was an isssue? and furthermore i called her b4 asking wad time i shld come..she said before 12..9.30 is way before 12 rite?? so wth is it wrong? but since i need her help i cant say anythg. she said she had to do other stuff and can only talk to me at 11.30, so my mom, my cousin (ce vivi) and I went to eat at a holland cafe. and u noe wad, because we were expecting the price to be ourageous like at airport, but its surprsingly cheap!! we sat till 11.30 and came back. after she went thru the documents she said 3 things are missing:
1. statement from the bank that we have enough money
2.prove from SMU that i studied thr for 2 semesters
3.photocopy of my dad's account book
so..we had to go back to settle and come back again. she doesnt want to receive half half.
that was on the 18th of oct.

we went back and ask the bank to settle it for us, but for the book, so happen that my dad's old book run out of pages so they had to make a new one. but my dad had to be present,. but my dad was at aceh, and can only come back around 25. so ntg we can do. we wait.

early morning on the 19th, we took a train to yogya, for bridgestone's meeting. Bridgestone is a japanese tyre company and they usually held meetings like this to discuss about sales and stuff like that. I was slighly nervous because i have no idea how train in indonesia looks like inside. to our relief, it was clean. and because brisgestone rented 3 gerbong(dunno wad isit in english), its much more private and quiet.
the journey was abt 7 hrs, i barely slept tho. there was also a live band that bridgestone(bs) paid for the purpose. and they were quiet good, altho i tink they are just a local band.

we reach yogya at abt 6 and i was going to meet vina veni (my close frens from smp in indo) that i havent seen in 5 years and i was more than excited.
i waited for them\ at the lobby. but because i dunno wad car they are driving, when a black kijang pulled off and horn at me, i smiled WIDELY at them. but when they opened the door turned out its all guys >.<>
vina veni reached in the next 10 minutes and after all the emotional hugs, i could not stop talking.
we went to eat at a very nice cafe called Parsley's. we eat and talk, drink and talk and complain abt each other's life..they havent changed much and they are still the vina veni i love :)

the next day we woke up at 6, had breakfast and listened to the seminar for 5 hours. after lunch we went in again and listened to James Gwee's seminar. altho i dun really like marketing people, i had to admit he's bloody good. he is born singaporean but spent last 10 years in indo and work as motivator full time since then. he speaks perfect indo, with the slank and the cool terms and everything. and i tell u he's freaking rich. if any of u are good with words and love to entertain ppl. u shld consider beinga motivator to be ur job. its interesting, u meet a lot of ppl., make them laugh and while u enjoy doing dat, u r paid a hell lot of money. i tink he's paid by hour. and i wont be surprised if its 20 million rupiahs for 1 hr.

at nite i went to follow bridgestone's group to eat at a place near Prambannan temple. its very near to Prambanan, but we can see Prambanan as the background. we sat down and watch few local performances, including ramashinta dance cum story telling. the food served was local yogya food like nasi gudeg and soto..after that they gave out awards.
we finished at 11 and reach home dead tired..

next morning we woke up early again, to have breakfast and then go to Sendang sono. a place of worship for Catholic. for non Catholic, some of them went city tour, some went to Borobudur.
we came back and reach hotel at abt 6. Vina veni picked me up again and this time we also asked argya, ingot, and michael to come along. we ate at Ruang Cafe, a very soothing cafe w nice ambience. we shared stories and had lots of gd laugh. after that we head off to sing. at Nav. we sang for like 2 hours. and i tell u, vina veni had a REALLLY REALLLY good voice..its a pleasure listeming to them sing..they sing like a real singers..

after that vina veni sent me back and sadly i had to part w them dis time.. :( till we meet again my dears..

the next day we prepared to go to airport, everybody is going back to their hometown, but im coming back to Jakarta to setlle my unfinished visa business. Yesterday, i went to Bandung w my cousin ( ce veve) and her bf, ko haris, went in and out in and out of FO. bought a lot of scarfs and finally i found my thick snowy jacket for a gd price at the last FO. it was thrown away stuff of Zara^^ we went back at nite and reach Jakarta at 11.30.

to be continued...

stuff like that

I'm currently in indo now, to be more precise in Pekanbaru, my hometown. And
It reminds me how dependant I am to AIR CON!!!! Its e reason why I'm still awake
At this ungodly hour. DAMN U PLN!!! Apparently they alternately switch off e electricty
In all e areas for 3 hrs each! And my companion for late night curhat, which is
Feli, is apparenlt nt active todayy huhuu T.T

I already found my French teacher, her name is Ibu Anita and she is a wife of a
Pastor. Not priest. Anyway, she is quite nice and I enjoy talking to her, even
Tho sometimes she forgot her stuff and took some time to flip the dictionary
But I'm being e not understanding student, I think I'm making her nervous cos
I just don't stop asking question. Lol.

My life in hometown usually starts like this:
9: wake up
10 to 11: breakfast then go to my parents' working place.
12: reach my parents working place.
1 to 4: french tuition
Until 6:helping my mum sort some stuff or just lay down and watch tv. When e
Internet is nt breaking down I will use it for msn and farmville :x
6 to 8:dinner and gym tgt w my mum
9; reach home
10; wait for e call from my bf
11 or 12; sleep

But on tuesday and thursday usually we go for aft exercise which is running in e forest
Its called Hash House Harriers or HHH for shortM

Kinda boring isn't it? But relaxing I can say. Lol. I'm really glad dat I quit smu
As right now all my friends are suffering, particularly in information system.
The situation also getting pretty bad. Apparently they make some people in the
BLACK LIST. Its for people they think don't want to do work doing project work.
Its quite transparent so I think there's a lot people hating each other there.
Sigh.

From 16 to 30 ill be in jakarta.
20 to 23 ill be in yogyakarta, accompanying my mum to go to a Bridgestone
Conference. For those who don't know, Bridgestone is a japan tyre company
And my parents workshop sells some of their tyres, so we are one of their
Toko model (shop for e model?). So every one in few years they will have
Conference to review their sales, mission and stuff like that.

I'm also going to settle my visa. Hope it can be done in 2 mths den I can beg
My parents to go back sing >.<

Dats all for now :)

syalallalala

Urghh my bf is taking so long to get ready..
and im super boreddd..

Waiting for him so we can go Bugis today, need to pass my uncle some cakes that my mom brought..
den I'll have tuition from 5 all the way to 9 plus..

I was practising French yesterday, and I was complaining to my sis that I sound like speaking CHINESE or THAI instead.. =.=

btw anybody know any language centre in Jakarta? for a reasonable price?
Please let me know ok! :)

NB: The song currently stuck in my head: Ingat ingat Lupa by Kuburan
its quite funny altho the lyrics are super simple but its still nice to listen to
all indos must go and listen :))

left alone haha

am at caca's house rite nw..
supposed to have stay over and ica promised we wont slp at all
but now..
ica and bebek both are in lalaland
leaving me alone w e comp and chocolatier (pc game)
zzzzzz...hahahha

but we had a really fun time tonite!!
for e first time, bebek let people put make up on her!!
hehehehhehehe
and the result is nt bad okay!
and then we tok turn being a make up artist for a day
we are purposely making a very dramatic make up colours!
love it!
tho e HOT RED lipstick made me look a lil bit like a w**re =x

we also coloured each other nails! like REALLY BRIGHT colours!
I had orange, pink and blue on me!

after done taking narssistic pictures, we pampered ourselves w MINERAL MASK
it feels really good! with the cucumber and all :D
sadly it only needs 5 mins =x

soon after, my 2 little frens fell asleep
LOL

i really had fun toniteee but it really really made me sad to think i cant see them anymore once i left for swiss!
T.T
im really sure i will be lonely AND loner down there..
haixx..
will miss ica and bebek VERYY MUCHH!! :((((
thanks u girls for evrything! Don't ever forget me cos I will never ever forget u..

FrenchGermanItalian?

Whoa. These 2 weeks my days are like roller coaster.One minute I am really happy, the next minute I can be crying like a psycho.

So wad's up now?
With the advices of my parents, my parents' friends, my bestfriend, and my other close friends, I have changed my destination to Switzerland.
It wasnt my plan at first..I would prefer Australia much cos it is cheaper (so my bf can prob visit), it is nearer to Singapore and Indonesia (so I can go back often), and it has many Asians, so I want feel cornered or alienated.

But....., I am not yet that independent to pay for my own education fees, so obviously when my parents are still paying, their opinions do count. And I have to admit, their advices usually come from their friends that are professionals or have many experience or personally know people who work in the hotel management field.and they all said the same thg : want to study hotel management?Go Swiss.

Now, I am still in the process of preparing to apply for the 2 public unis there: de Lausanne and Les Roches. Why do I take so long?
Cos e freakin uni needs an essay; something I am not good at, so I need time to come out w my best effort.
I really dont think I can get into Lausanne cos it is pretty strict; they have like 2 tests and 2 interviews, one is normal interview, the other is role-play. Apparently they will set up student to play some difficult customers and they want to see how the applicants respond to such situation.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa I hate thatt.. Eventho I used to be in drama last time, I dont think I can think in that short time. >.<

I prefer Les Roches actually, cos they have compulsory internship every year, so its a semester of studying, a semester of working
I repeat; EVERY year,so I will earn some money.
But mymom said like that waste our money cos actually we r only paying for half..=x

Apparently I just found out, all students in Swiss uni stay inside the uni. So the tuition fees actually covered lodging and even meals 3 times a day everyday.
So if I'll be a loner and dont go out at all, I THINK i can be savvy :)

But truth be told,I am still scared..
Swiss people dont speak English much..prob only college students do..
Their languages are French,German,Italian..and I speak..none of them >.<
trying hard to learn French in this 5 mths I have..
cos altho I chose the English program, French is still a subject..

Anotehr thing, I always assume they wont speak to me.
T_______________________________T

Oh well, wish me luck people, that I got accepted, if not I think I am going back to Aus.
Actually Im thinking of applying to a private uni too, but not sure which one yet, maybe SHMS or IMI-Luzern. IMI is the one that is partnered with SIM Singapore, so I think Ria is going there..shld I join her? :)

cheers!
xoxo

confuse confuse confuse

Im so sad after reading my bestfren's blog :(
Ica, I realize we are quite a funny BBF (Best best fren for those who dont know =p)..I can't really show you how sad I am that we have to part, because I am still in a way in denial, like I havent feel the full impact of you being not around me anymore.. :(

Ica has been my one and only bestfren for 7 or 8 years?? She pulled me up when I was down, cheered me up whenever Im depressed, and always feel happy for me when I am happy. It is not easy to understand a person like me, I am egoistic, selfish, stubborn and very very VERY idealistic. and therefore I think she also got confused about me at times =D I am also a person who cannot tolerate people with many flaws..hence explaining the small number of my close friends..

She is always there when I broke up with my ex-es..even starting from the first one. hahaha. We had many funny stories and experiences we went through tgt. One story that she always likes to tell people is when i ALMOST broke her nose! hahahaha. pls dont get me wrong! Obviously i wont torture my one and only bbf! It happened cos I was practising kicking. and she was the one beside me at that time.. so accident happened..I admitted I was wrong because even when she was bleeding I wasnt the one looking for tissue. I was mean! Im sorry my dear..but it was indeed a story I will always rmb :)

Last time when we were in high school in Indo, Ica's house has became my second house. I stayed over like practically every week. I forgot wad did we even do sia..how can we din get bored at all HAHHAHA..

I also rmb, when I was on the verge of breaking up with my first ex, she was the one that helped me pressed the "send" button cos I didnt dare to! after that I cried and cried. lol. the first break up w my first ex was the hardest, but after that it strengthen our friendship much more. I cant rmb who cry on whose shoulder more often alr. can u cha?? =p

A lot of other dramatic scenarios too..but I cant reveal here, I will just save it in my heart :) I am glad I managed to help her too, just like how she helped me through thick and thin :)

So, as u can see, we even moved to SIngapore together, stayed in the same room for 2 years, but nevertheless see each other at least once a week, even after we dont stay at the same place anymore..I am never separated from Ica. not for too long. I always need her, I will always do.

Truth is, I am really scared that our frienship will change after I go off. Obviously I know that one day we will lead our own lives, Ica will live in London, I will be in Australia..and thats miles apart!! and sometimes no matter how hard u try, distance still changes relationshipp and I am really really REALLY scared of that! :((((((
I was hoping I can delay that by staying in Spore for at least another 3 years. stupid SMU SIS had to make me change my plan haixx

I can never imagine finding a friend better than Ica. you WILL always be my bbff(best best fren forever) cha!! other people can only be my bff! hahahahahahha

But Life is just like that..things dont always go the way u want it to be..
This moving to Australia thing has made the last 2 weeks particularly stressful for my bgs relationship too..

But I promise myself, I really wont get deterred by other people's opinion. After all, u are the one living ur life, not them..

hugest decision ever

I have officially made the hugest decision ever in my life.
I am leaving Singapore. Reasons??
1. I am sick of my degree right now (Information system), which I really have no passion for
2. I am not planning to work and stay in Singapore anyway.
3. I always want to go to other country.
4. There is no use forcing myself to continue another 3 years, going to school studying stg I dont like and wasting my age and money.

These 2 days I was on the verge of going mad. I am going back and fro between staying here and leaving. I talked to manyyy people, asking what would they do if they were me..
Most of them said "I will leave."

One of the hugest obstacle for going overseas is the money. money is always a problem.
I am actually planning to choose Australia, because their education is not as expensive as US and UK. But my parents now are trying to get me choose something else like Switzerland or Paris!

But as Ria said, I think I should choose what I really want and I think I would be more comfortable in Australia.

my bf? we are back and fro whether we should do LD or not. I know this is really hard for him but I really dont want to regret my decision again.

I know this is a shock and everyone I spoke with clearly are taken aback. My sister especially.
SHe kept screaming,"What????I am the impulsive one! If anyone is doing such a crazy stuff like this it would be me, not you!"

Hahahahaha.
Well, I still have not decided which country, which uni and which course, but I know my decision to stop looking at code and computer is the right decision.
For now, the first option is University of Melbourne, degree of commerce or finance.
Wish me luck people! :D

it hurts. it hurts so bad i dunno wad to do.
this felt so surreal. u are always there for me and i take u for granted.
when u are gone..i just cannot believe it..

im sorry i have to make this decision, it hurts me more than it hurts u.

in life, things dont always go the way we always want it to be..
this will be one of the time I cant choose best of both worlds..

I still cant believe you decided not to try..
I always thought u will, the stubborn, selfish me always thought u will..

"there is no use crying," I told myself. but the tears just wont stop.

every half of a minute i look at my phone, hoping it will vibrate.
but it doesnt,and it didnt.

I know u are probably sick of always sacrificing for me, I know, I cant ask much after what you have done for me..
I am an ungrateful, horrible person and I definitely dont deserve you..

I always thought, its so easy to forget someone.
It is easy to tell your friend, its over, move on, dont think of him again.
Truth is, it is never easy..

But sometimes, all you need is just a good cry. cry until you cant cry anymore.

sick of being sick

ok im so bored so I'll just write some random stuff today.
I have been sick for 4 days and I think its actually the h1n1 (flu babi in indo)
because I got all e symptoms; fever, up and down up till 40 degree several times, cough, sorethroat, sickly feeling in the stomach, and now blocked nose too.
I went to hospital 2 times but the doctor never told me to go for the test.
He did say it might be mild h1n1 though.

I am supposed to go take the test today (test whether im positive h1n1), but it cost 84 and i alr spent 170 bucks for the doctor fees
so I decided not to go.
The first few days I am sick I really enjoyed it. Everybody is taking care of me,
Oliv cooked porridge for me, Monic helped to sponge me when my fever goes really high, my bf came over with my fav ban mian. Basically my bf's presence just lighten me up ^^
and I am happy cos losing appetite means eating less and losing weight.
I do nothing but sleep 18 hours a day, go to toilet, eat a bit, eat medicine, lay on sofa watch tv and sleep again.

But coming to third day, I am sick of being sick.Anyway I spent much much better today.
yesterday my dad suggested that I should stay-in in the hospital.
I was excited at first! Thinking abt being weak and eating not nice hospital food which means losing weight (again) and having ppl visiting me...
although I dont really like the being injected part..
STILL, I never stay in hospital before!
till my bf pointed out,"Hospitals are haunted u know."
Damn him. It just crushed all my hospital fantasy. Haix.

Btw I have just finished reading SHOPAHOLIC by Sophie Kinsella.
Please dont shoot me for what I am going to write next.
I hate the girl inside the book. I mean it is funny, but when I read I feel more irritated than pleased. Seriously, she is just too dumb, with all her shopping problems and everything. and I promise myself, even though I still read all the series ( I only read cos its free), next time I am not going to force myself read through any of these kinds of novels where the lead-woman character is pictured as weak or dumb or helpless. It just irritate the hell out of me.

Well, thats all for now. Gotta rest again.
Ciao!

updates

I have not been writing for so damn long I just realized.. Btw feli I ended my summer course alr. from 17 July to 17 Aug is my holiday! yayayay
hahahahha
so I am not 'keranjingan' Ica! cos I still have 1mth hols!hahahha

okay some highlights..
last week went to have double date with Ica and her bf, Ifan
we went to eat dim sum and then go prawning!
its the first time we went prawning and altho its nt cheap, its really worth it!!
Its damn funnnnn
I managed to catch 1/2 prawnsss!!
but sadly we had no time to cook e prawn, so I din try it at all :(
next time I told ica must bring sweet sauce and chilli and cook there
yummmmm

Oh ya I forgot to post about my lost baggage.. because I was considering whether they can sue me for posting it in my blog =.=
wth la so people cant complain evnthough some stuff really happen to them??
where's the freedom of speech??
anw just in case they can find my blog, i'll super kindly change the name to protect their company's name..(like i care, i just want to save my face)
anw it happened 2 months ago when i went back to Indo for hols
when I reached Pekanbaru, my baggage did not!
So I reported and they said usually they will find the baggage latest in 2 days
guess what, they did not
after 4 days we came to the airport like almost once a day
and no improvements!
tehy said they already emailed the other ports and still no news.
but when I asked them to call, u know what they said??
"We cant make international call..we are not allowed to.."
or stg like they cant because its too expensive
SAY TGT W ME
WTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anw so the useless staffs there did ntg else
until i went back to sing
in sing I approached and reported also
and they said, "if after 2 weeks its not found we will considered it as lost and we will compensate you"
BUTT after 2 freaking MONTHS
I have yet to see the money
last week when I went to the airport again
I finally lost all my patience and screamed at the staff in front of the whole passengers and other staffs
"If until next week this case is not settled I am going to write to the newspaper. I am warning you."
and u noe what, it works!
He straight away asked for my bank account.
HA! I should have done that long long time ago.

btw I am going to start teaching a primary 2 kid next week, so I am learning to write in proper English =x
This is my first time officially teaching and get paid.. last time its always someone I know so I din get paid..
I am excited and scared at the same time..
like what if the parents think im too lousy and fired me just after a month or so? :((
but I am excited for the experience and for the money (of course)
This is my way of earning a little more income for saving since I have proven it is impossible not to used up all my allowance >.<

alrite gtg to watch "How I met your mother"
feli u shld watch too! its a comedy show like Friends but better :)

xoxo,
van

i am NOT bitching

okay let me continue w description of my new grp.
Actually its nt as bad as I described at first.
so there are 5 ppl in this grp. me and 4 guys (as for u guys dat know my bf, obviously he minds)
BUT i have a reasonable reasons behind this.

why did I get into a grp w all guys?is there no girls left?
not really. But because on my first day, I saw this guy named Tomy. he is and Indonesian that came straight from smu in Indo, I knew him but I dont normally talk to him. However, in that class that day he was the only one I knew. So I sat next to him.

My friend, Eugene, is also in the same class, but he din come for the first day.
But his fren came over to tell me that he is Eugene's friend and he told me that Eugene said if got grp must put him in.
So it is only natural that when the teacher asked us to form grp, Ed(Eugene's fren) came over and asked Tomy and me to be in the grp. so now thr's 4 of us.

To make the matter even worse for my bf, this other guy w initial M, asked Tomy whether he could join us. He is a freshman, so I think Tomy being a nice guy pitied him and let him in.
This is the start of the prob.

Apparently M is not what we thought. He is too kanchiong. Like every meeting must have agenda, must finish stg.. and its driving everyone mad. esp Eugene.

One particularly bad day, the 4 of us were sitting in the row.
Tomy,me,Eugene and Ed, in that arrangement.
So Eugene asked me "Why did u let the irritating guy join our grp?Dont you know only good-looking people are allowed in this grp?"
(okay I know he is really mean and very narcisstic, but he is just like that. so we shall ignore the last sentence..)
I said "Not me. He asked Tomy."
so he leaned over to Tomy and asked the same thing.
Tomy said he couldnt hear what Eugene said
so me, being in the middle suggested (what I THOUGHT good idea but turn out disastrous)
"okay let me just type it on my comp so u can see."
so i typed "Eugene asked u why u let M join our grp"

at that moment when Tomy was leaning over to see waht i wrote, M walked and looked at the comp too!!!
Panic and feel like I want to die right there, I closed the notepad(i was using it to type)
but the bloody doc need to ask "do you want to save changes?"
!!!!!!
Anyway I closed it and I was left w the wallpaper staring back at me.
M asked "What is that wallpaper? is that a blackhole?"
I said "I think its the galaxy"
(I have no idea wad isit. I was using my sis' laptop and her wallpaper always randomly changed)
and he continued "No i tink its the black hole. u see all the planets are being absorbed.."
(I dunno why he is doing this conversation)
so I just said.."okay..."
and he still insisted abt the blackhole for a while more before realizing that he shld go back to his seat..

the whole thing was nerver wreacking!
I am pretty sure he saw alr.
and i told Eugene and he was like "wadever. I dont give a shit."
o well..you cant expect Eugene to be nice when he doesnt want to be..

anyway, luckily our grp din break up and that Euegene is not always so mean to him, so now
we are abt to be done w our term.
I am so glad.
Fiuhh~~

human is never satisfied

yeah..as the title suggest i am feeling very unsatisfied.
i am so bored w studying!
i mean, even though this term round i have a better group then i did last term, but AS HUMAN i still have stg to complain about.

this group is to kanchiong.
let me translate that singlish term to english: must be the first. everything must do as soon as possible.

i mean, its gooodddddddd BUT its summer course for God's sake!!
summer course= slacking. summer when people all holidaying, we are studying. and do u have to make it even harder being so kanchiong?
its driving me nuts.gosh.

ICA has came back! after 1 mth of not seeing her!
and my BF has finished his BMT. so now it is much slacker and he can even come out EVERYDAY.
yayayayyayy these 2 persons have made me alive amidst the craziness in school.

ow oh..class is starting. let me continue blabbering another time.
till then..be patient =p

back to life!

'"I HAVE CAME BACK TO LIFE!"
after off for 10 days...

today post would be about how irritating it is taking budget indonesian airline.
no, not abt the plane itself. but abt the people on the plane.
when we are abt to land, the stewardess announced,
"please turn off your phone because your signal is disrupting our communication with the station."

i really hate taking planes with stupid people. if you want to kill yourself by purposely disrupting the connection, go ahead. But please dont bring other people with you. Thank you very much.

BUT apparently that person is not the only stupid people on the plane.
As soon as the plane's wheels touch the ground I heard "bip bip bip" and other similar sound of messages coming in.
AGAIN the stewardess announced to off their phones.
and not only are they stupid, they are apparently deaf too.
Just take the woman beside me for example, she continued messaging even after the stewardess said that.
I glared and stared at her while she was messaging.

Unaware of my killer stare, she continued.
only after I heard another longgggg bip from some other phone and I shouted
"tsk! begoo"
(you might want to ask why I chose bego, but i dunno wads ignorant in indo.so yeah)
but it worked apparently.
she took off her phone and turned it off.
some people.

These people seriously cannot wait until they got to airport isit??
waiting for another 5-10 mins wont kill you, you know?
but by turning on your phone and disrupting the planes communication with the airport might.

get some general education people.

complaining mood

I am in a complaining mood right now.
I seriously regretted taking summer course. Haix. I know I just contradicted myself as the post before I said I like being busy. But now I really hate everything.

First, the Prof is boring
Second, the course is boring. Seriously "Managing Knowledge Governance in Southeast Asia" is not an important subject at all. and the Prof make it sound like its really important. yeah rite.
Third, my groupmates suck.

In this course we have 2 projects.
One is a partner project, 2 ppl, whr I am partnered w W.(Im using initial for this post)
Another is a team project, 4 ppl (me,W,T and R).

First thing first, I already dont like W very much. I hate people who touch other ppl like they are very close when they are not. And she giggled every 5 seconds. After I said stg she giggled, after she talked to herself she giggled and after she read NOTHING funny, she giggled. and evrytime we discuss stg and I told her my opinion, she would shake her head and giggled. like seriously, WTH??!

But obviiously when she asked so nicely whether I want to partner her, I couldnt say no rite??
so yeah...
But thats ok. because our partner project is done. whatever.

Now we have team project, I must say everybody is at fault that now we end up with rushing everything. It is due tomorrow, but we are only half way done. But why do we take so long to decide which proj to do??becos W didnt agree to anythg we said. In the end she did, but everybody made no initiative to do research.

Then last week, T said lets do a video. Like you all send me pics and do voice over. SO it will be like slide show with our voices inside. All agreed. Then now, after he realized it is a lot of work, he said "why isit that everything I do? This is becoming too dependent on me." Like helooooo u suggested it rmb??

Damn it. I should just go back to work and finish this stupid project.
I should not have taken summer course. Next year I will just work.

LEG shaking

I belong to a group of people who shake legs (one leg to be precise) for no apparent reason. While I do not feel this is a disturbance for me, but to people around me it is. I guess when you yourself do it, you dont feel the disturbance, but I do get annoyed too if other people do it.

Furthermore, my bf keeps telling me its very unladylike =x
which I agree. SO i went to google and try to find out the answer but to no avail.
Most of the links are just chat room where people gives their own opinions, which are not what I wanted.

The only link that is reliable would be this one:
http://www.sixwise.com/newsletters/06/03/15/restless-leg-syndrome-shake-your-leg-or-legs-relentlessly-heres-what-it-may-be-and-what-to-do.htm

but it does not really answer my qn because it is addressing a differnt but similar action:

"Ten percent of Americans suffer from Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS), an under-diagnosed neurological disorder that causes creepy-crawly, tingling, aching, burning sensations in the calves, thighs, feet and even arms. The only thing that seems to relieve these uncomfortable, yet sometimes indescribable, sensations is to shake the limb and move around.

RLS symptoms, which include "creepy-crawly," tingling, pulling or burning sensations in the legs, become worse when you're resting.

RLS is different from simply wanting to shake your leg a lot while sitting. In order to be officially diagnosed, you must have all of the following, says the Restless Legs Syndrome Foundation:"

then address those please!

Periodic Limb Movements of Sleep (PLMS)

According to the Mayo Clinic, more than four out of five people with Restless Leg Syndrome also suffer from a related condition known as periodic limb movements of sleep (PLMS) (formerly called myoclonus).

People with PLMS involuntarily flex, extend and kick their legs while sleeping. Hundreds of these movements may occur during one night, which is why partners of those with RLS often have trouble sleeping as well.

What Causes Restless Leg Syndrome?

A person with RLS can easily keep their partner awake at night because of involuntary kicking of the legs -- which can happen hundreds of times a night.

The exact cause of primary RLS -- the most common type -- is unknown, but researchers suspect it may be related to an imbalance of the brain chemical dopamine, which sends out messages to control muscle movement.

RLS can run in families and occurs more often in women than men, says Malhotra. Stress may exacerbate symptoms.

The following simple methods, from the Mayo Clinic and Malhotra, can help to reduce RLS symptoms:

• Have good sleep hygiene. This means sleeping in a cool, quiet environment, going to sleep around the same time each night and getting up at the same time in the morning, and sleeping long enough to feel rested. Going to sleep later (and waking later) has helped some people with RLS as well.

• Try warm baths, stretching and massage. This can help to relax your leg muscles.

• Use hot and cold packs. When applied alternately, they may help to lessen the sensations in your legs.

• Relax with yoga or meditation before bed.

• Exercise. Regular, moderate-intensity exercise may relieve RLS symptoms, but overdoing it or working out too close to bedtime may worsen them.

• Try wearing long socks to bed.

• Avoid or cut back on alcohol, caffeine and tobacco. All of these can aggravate or trigger RLS symptoms.

• Eat a healthy diet.

• Stay alert in the evening. Being bored or drowsy before bedtime may make RLS symptoms worse.

I dunno whether the suggested methods work for us since it is not entirely similar, but I should give it a try and if you belong to the group u should too.

OH! if anyone found the real reason please tell me!

21st burffdayy

whhooo~~ i havent updated for quite a while >.< style="color: rgb(255, 153, 0);">my 2 angels! BEK and OLIV :DD

My maid was supposed to cook fried rice, but then we fired her, so...I was left with no choice but to reveal my true power!! hahhahha YEAHHHH I COOKED!! Believe it or not nobody fell sick till today XD

I was stress too at that time because I had to print tickets for my maid but my printer has no ink, whereby I am not going home at night and her flight is 10 am the next morning. Luckily, Bek saved me again by asking her friend to print. I owed u a lott my dear :D

We (Bek,Oliv, Casey and me) finally reached Downtown east which is at East Coast at 5plus. I was relieved seeing the room! It was way wayyy better than the Sentosa one.It was clean, with bedroom inside, and got 4 beds.Sentosa's one was cramped, decker kind of bed, dirty and looks unkept. I am so glad that I didnt choose Sentosa chalet eventhough it was tempting as we can just play at the beach.

People started to arrive around 8plus..There was Mama,Bel,Ame,Jason,Noel,Chester,Joce,Trudy,and then Shamir came for a surprise visit.lol.
These are all my CJC peers. if you are wondering why I do not invite any SMU people, its because I am not close to any of them. >.< I still cant cure my anti-social disorder.

I also invited my Indon friends, mostly those that stayed with me last time at Tiong Bahru. Ria,Frank,Dhephe, Han Han(Dp's brother), and Lia came. It was so nice to see each other again after years!!

My bf couldnt come though, as he was still in army. Stupid army, when I purposely postpone for him then suddenly said got camp. Haix. But anyway I still enjoyed myself.LOTS with a lot of camwhoring :D hahahaa.

One hilarious thing that Dp said when we all realized that Han Han and Bek's eyes are both very small was ,"If the two of them got together and married, their kids wont be able to open their eyes." LOLROFL!

And then around 12, people went home one by one. Those dat finally stayed are Ame,Jason,Trudy,Chester,Noel,and Joce. Ica and Bek wanted to stay too at first, but Ica needed to sleep while we were all still very noisy. (Sorry Bek and Ica :( )

My sis turned up with Amel at around 1.30 am, when everyone has gone home =.=
They came and talked for a while. BTW the credit for my cute,pretty bday cake goes to my sis as she really handmade it herself.. taste obviously not like bakery kind, but i was so touched by it! Love my sis lotsss.

Around 3 or 4am we all turned sleepy, and decided to sleep. Oh one thing, eventhough the beds were clean, the blankets were SMELLY LIKE SHIT and everyone did not dare to touch it., but in the morning as the aircon turned crazily cold, everybody was fighting for it. lol lol

and then at 5 plus, there were some group sitting outside our room, laughing their asses off. Joce stood up,open the door and shouted "EXCUSE ME, if you all do not realize they are bunch of people who are trying to sleep inside can you go and laugh somewhere??" (I dunno why she must say bunch of ppl.lol) and then when the group was saying sorry sorry, she SLAMED the door.HAHA

I think more or less we managed to catch some sleep, but my original plan to go wild wild wet failed :( so we went watch movie instead. STARTREK. lol. it was so not my kind of movie, but Trudy said the review was good, so we all agreed. I think it was okay la..just non sensical at times, like most films are.

Afterwards I went home, spent some time with Ica, bek and Oliv cos they stayed over at my house and waited for me to come home (like as though they are my husbands.lol) no la more like I made them wait XD im still the bday girl ma XD

Then we went to Orchard to accompany Oliv cut her bangs, ate fattening but heavenly desserts, and then I went to pick my bf up at Pasir Ris interchange :))

Overall, I am so happy that I ams do blessed to have such friends.My bday is just one day out of so many other days that GOD has so kindly bless me with. I am so thankful for the parents,family and friends I have and these memories, I will treasasure them forever :)

wonder MEN

watch this peeps! its hilarious! hahahha..for people who dunno what they are doing, basically they are immitating the real singers (the video of the girls is shown at the bottom of the screen). The real singers are called WONDER GIRLS.

I think they imitate really well! Altough the dress was lil bit too short..i can even see their panties >.<

But still..watch it for fun! hahaha :D

hana yori vs boys before flowers vs meteor garden

ok i officially finished watching all 3 versions of F4.
HAHHAHAH

and my decision is, the best would be Meteor Garden (Taiwan)
followed by Hana Yori Dango (Japanese)
and lastly is Boys before flowers (Korean)

why?
cos eventho the korean one is the one with the most good looking guys,
their acting suck. and the two most important actor and actress DONT HAVE THE CHEMISTRY.
so it really sucks seeing them act.

but anw its a personal opinion. i know lotssss of ppl who will say the korean one is the best.
hahahahha.

vegetariannnnn

When I was 15/16 I promised myself by 20 years old I would be a vegetarian..
and today I am over 20 and still not :(

I really wannabe a vegetarian
why??
1. I love animals. cows are cute, pigs are gross but they are often pictured as cute and intelligent.
2. Vegetable can also give u all the vitamins that meat can give too!
3. (I thought) I can become skinnier

However, the third reason is not really valid, because some ppl are still fat eventhough they are vegetarian... I was talking to my Indian friend, he is a FULL VEGETARIAN. meaning he can only eat the non-living products of animals and vegetables. He cant even eat egg. But he's damn skinny!! Then when I said how come some vegetarian ppl are fat, and some are skinny, He replied It is just the same case for everyone, you eat more, you still get fat.

T.T
I should really really stop eating when I am not hungry.
and i might be becoming White vegetarian (this term I made it up myself) which means I can eat vegetables+ white meat (chicken and fish) BY the age of 30

With bird flu and mad cow disease and swine flu keep coming one after another, I think it would be a good idea to be vegetarian. But then again, some chemicals that are found in the vegetables can be very harmful too :(

Speaking of harmful chemicals, I am so happy seeing Thai farmers. Just now in class, the Prof showed us a video by the Thai govt, they are embarking on a project trying to stop the use of chemicals in farming, because it is harmful for both the farmers and the consumers. And the farmers gladly accept the idea, because they care about their consumers and the live of others (this is why I love Thais and Buddhists). They have very strong passion for humanity and all that. and they are very peaceful (even their riots are considered peaceful as compared to other countries' riots).

and I am not bluffing you on this one. Seeing my maternal grandma makes me feel so peaceful. She is a strong Buddhist, she goes to temple everyday, she meditates everyday and she does a lot of charity stuff. Like she gets happiness from doing all that. I really look up to her a lot.

I am not here to promotes Buddhism, cos I myself is Catholic. But I am just saying, if only people focus more on the positive sides of their religions, the world would become a much better place.

kids craze

OH OH!! I remember I need to write about kids too.
Ytd I watched 2 Tv shows that show couples with large number of kids, and when I say large I do mean LARGE

The first couple has 13 kids. Believe it or not (oh btw its not from Ripley believe it or not)
The wife has 6 children from the first marriage, and then she married the current husband and has 7 other kids which comprises of 3 SETS OF TWINSSSS and 1 girl.
And seriously looking at the twinss I WANTTTTT!!!!!!
They are so damn cutee!

And since my aunt( my mom's sister) has twins, I hope its really in our gene (like what Junkai's mom said) so I Might have gene to have twinss!!! YAYYYYY!
But on a different note, seriously I cannot put myself in the shoes of the mother. Goodness! 13 kids and lucky for her, the kids from the 1st marriage are somewhat grown up already so can help the smaller ones.

But the 2nd couple has 8 kids of which they are about the same age! That one is more headache I tell you, I think if so happens I give birth to 8 twins...I might just pass out >.<

Eventhough I really love children but I think these couples are MAD. the wife is like screaming around having no time to relax, whereas the husband also must work for more than 24/7 to earn enough money to feed the children. The family with 13 kids said that they spend US$2500 a month for the GROCERIES ONLY. or is it a week? o.O

The show with 8 kids is called Jon and Kate plus 8.
Btw they are having some problems too as the husband caught cheating on the wife. You can catch the show in Discovery Channel. I think.

quote of the day

"A successful marriage requires falling in love again and again, always with the same person."
-WIGNON MCLAUGLIN

happy vs sad

OMG! Im so freaking happy with my results!!
Its nothing fantastic.. but its wayyy better than I imagined! Except for one course, which is kinda dissapointing..
AND MY STATS!!!! which I almost FAIL during midterm, I got B+ in the end for final!!! yayayayayyaayy :D:D

Yesterday I sent my boyfriend back to camp already.. :(
His hair is like bald HAHAHHA
but he doesnt look as bad as I imagine it would be. lolololol
Then We (his mom, his aunt, his cousin(I chu) and his sister(Xu Hui) and ME) went to send him to Pasir Ris interchange.

Then after that we (without him) went for dinner, at Sushi Tei, I feel so bad eating with his mom la.
always feel like free-riding >.<
2 of his other cousins also joined us.
AND For the first time in 2 yrs, I actually TALKED a lot to his sister.
The reason why I usually dont talk to them is cause:
1. I always have Junkai to talk to
2. His sisters are dam young...well....ok..not that young, Jinru is in sec3. Xiuhui is in pri6
But I just dunno what to talk to them about..

however, cos Junkai was not there, I was forced to talk to everyone else. GOODNESS.
I could keep quiet also, but you know...It is just NOT ME >.<

On the way home too, when his mum is sending me home, I TALKED NON STOP!!
I dunno wads wrong with me!! I just kepp going on and on and on
so paisehhhh hiksss T.T

Next time I will try harder to zip my mouth =x

Suddenly I remember another point, have you ever wondered, if you are walking on the street and you happened to see a stranger looking very sad, you dont care.
BUT if the stranger happened to be smiling, you will say "whats wrong with this guy?is he mad or stg?"

Why isit that we seem to find that being happy is weird, while being sad is normal??
why?? think.. I dont have the answer also (credit to Eugene to introduce this thought)

Then while talking to Jani, I also came across another point. Why is it that only when we are sad we share our sadness to people..but when we are happy, we dont do that..
Like I ask Jani why isit only when we have problems w our gf/bf then we talked and ask our friends opinion..BUT when your bf/gf made u happy, you dont do the same..

For me, my main reason is because if I do dat when I am happy it will look like I am showing off. And I dont want to do that. So I take the happiness, I save it (in diary, in my brain) and then thats it. weird huh?

joke of the day

The time for the engineer to face God has come.
After weighing the good deeds that he has done and his sins, God decided to send him to hell.

One day, God went down to hell and he realized that HELL IS AIR-CONDITIONED!
God was shocked and he asked Satan.
Satan replied that this was the work of the engineer.

Having heard that, God said," This is a mistake. Bring the engineer back to heaven."
Satan laughed at God and said,
"What will you do If I don't?"
God replied,"I will sue you."
and Satan said,
"Yeah right..where will you find a lawyer??"


mind-teaser:
"What is black white black white black white black white?"

answer: penguin rolling down the mountain.

"what is black white hahahahah black white hahahaha?"

answer: another penguin pushing the first penguin down.

single or married

woohoo! i just finished watching "He is just not that into you"
free!!hahahhaa

I know I am not supposed to be proud of doing something illegal, but on the other one I just saved some money by not watching it in cinema!

Anyway..as usual..after I watched something usually it disturbs my mind and I have to let it out..
First thing first, I was disturbed and disgusted by how the women inside the movie are behaving.
Like they are being so desperate to get a guy intention, and one of the women, called Janine, actually took his husband back eventhough he has cheated on her.

SO it got me thinking..you know..because I have a principle, if my bf/husband dares to cheat on me.dats it. its over.
Even though some people might say, you know, it is just such a small glitch, na ah. not for me.

Things might get a little more complicated when you are already living a stable life, with a nice house, some kids and peaceful life..would you give it up just because your husband cheated on you? Let see, on one hand, you could, if you care for your dignity and your pride. On the other hand, what about your children? Having to see them grow up without a father..or having them keep asking where is their father..And then after the divorce you have to decide, so who get the house? who get the car? who get the kids?

So, maybe just dont have children, or maybe just dont get married.
Cohabitation looks easier than getting married, because in cohabitation, you just break up, you dont have to divorce.
right?
but I believe it is not less complicated, somemore being Asian, I think my family would not let me have kids without getting married..
sigh...

I think about this matter ALL THE TIME because I seriously believe that 95% of men WILL CHEAT on their gfs or wives. And I wouldnt know whether I will end up with the 5% or the 95%.

Oh another thing is about true love. For some people, it is fairytale, for others it is something they believe and hail like their religion. For free thinker, I dont know what to associate it too.
Anyway, for me, there is no such thing as THE ONE. You know people keep asking,
"how would you know he/she is the one?"
The answer is there is no answer.
There is no such thing.
When you love someone, you dont wait to see the signs whether he/she is perfect for you.
It is more like both of you make effort, make compromises to each other and you know, cover up each other weaknesses while embracing each other strength.
You make yourself perfect for each other.
Thats how it works. At least for me.

That being said, obviously even after these all are done, some matters are not forgiven.
And those matters are for you to decide.

Unforseen circumstances

Goodness.. these survey people are driving me nuts.
today I was surveyed by 2 people, one from Menu Life and Prudential.

The one from Menu Life took like 25 mins to finish the survey =.=
it is a insurance company. the person was really quite stubborn even after I said my mother already covers my insurance.. he kept asking me questions..
but it got me thinking about stuffs..stuffs that I conveniently avoid because I dunno how to handle them..

First, is death..altho I really really wish I can die before my parents, but sometimes things dont happen like you want it too..But if I die first, I think my parents would be sad, but financially I believe they actually dont really need me for them to survive..

Then he also brought about being handicapped or struck by fatal diseases.. I seriously think I would rather die then live but handicapped, cos being handicapped is just like being a burden to my family and my friends both emotionally and financially. And unless I could still do something worthwhile or stg dat still can benefit, then you know..the other option would be better..
I know Im being really pesimistic right now, but what for live if you cant do anything for the ones you love? I think If im handicapped and really sick, the only thing I can do for my family is to love them and Maybe thats about the only thing that can prevent me from committing suicide..
I know I sound really emo.. haixx..

Btw the reason why I always almost entertain these survey people because last time I used to work as one. And i can tell you is BLOODY IRRITATING having people reject you or ignore you like you are some pilar happened to be standing in their way.

In the end, he asked my particular to which I filled in fake details, of course.
Although I am quite pissed as he was going through the survey too slowly, but I indeed learn stg today. I SHOULD REALLY START SAVING!

OHh! MY birthday will be celebrated on the 15th. I hope it wont be too boring =x And I believe whoever that have access to my blog would have been invited already OR could not be invited because you are so far away! :((((

surVive

"what doesn't kill you will only make you stronger."

I think that is so true. And I really thank God because I have been living a very blissful life.

But I must admit, I really dont know what to do when it comes to crisis and disasters (choy!touch wood) but..
I think..if stg bad really happen, I wont be able to take it well.

i will exclude myself from everyone else. and I will isolate myself..
thats what i'll do..

holiday is boring

I really cannot understand myself.
I cant even enjoy a holiday where I dont have anything to do but to relax, watch drama and have fun.
i cant =.=

Obviously I dont mind going out evryday w my frens, but that would be a waste of money wouldnt it? but staying at home whole day and just watch episode after episode of dramas make me sick and weak.

I think im seriously going old already. all the dramas are so boring, doesnt make sense and too draggy. huaaaa why couldnt i enjoy it like I used to last time ? :(

I am glad that I took up the summer course, even if it means my 3 months long holiday is shorten to about 2 weeks only. But like I said before, I can enjoy myself when I am too free..
im a weirdo I know.. >.< I want to take up a part-time job too.. but that depends on my grade this term, and whether any company wants to employ me.. If my grade is sufficient, I would do summer course+part time job. If it is not, then I will just do summer course..

Talking about part-time job..I think students who can manage part-time job and their study well are amazing. I want to be like them too, but my brain is too weak so I need a lot of time to study. so sad T.T

Im thinking of going for exchange-programme too..probably next year or next next year..
maybe somewhere in Europe..actually I dont really mind not going, but Wenjing makes it sounds so fun!

but...it still needs a lot of consideration..oh well..

have a nice day peeps!
xoxo, vans

one DOWN

yayyayayyayay!!

one down!
im halfway through the freedom!

im so glad that OOAD is the first, because it is the hardest.
tmr DM(database) hopefully wont be so hard..
and after thurs...IM FWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

today is such a nano-nano day.
im happy cos OOAD is over, but im sad cos my bf just went into the army:(
more specifically 10.30am this morning.

but its ok, only 2 more weeks and i can see him alr! :)

Scary Rain

I have been trying to stop myself from blogging during exam.
but i cant >.< anyway, writing blog for 5 minutes wont hurt so much rite? (yah rite just keep deceiving urself tessa)

I had to blog about rain today because It is raining like HELL outside. ANd it reminds me of a story I heard last week. Just like today, Last week when it was raining like a storm, and while my sister was reading her book peacefully, she suddenly turned and SCREAMED.
She saw something scary standing by her bedroom door, looking dishevelled and wet, staring at her with black big eyes, with dirty rain water dropping slowly from its body...

it was me.

I had to undergo this because of me wanted to go to church.
It was already 11.45 and my church began at 12.
SO I quickly dashed off, using my last one dollar to board the bus.
But to my horror, I stopped at the wrong bust stop that is 500 m away from the church.
But nvm, I had umbrella.
...altho I still reached the church with half-wet body.

When I wanted to go into the church, I realized it was full until people have to stand outside.
I stood with them too, for 10-minutes, before realizing I couldnt hear a thing and I had to meet my groupmate for meeting at 1pm.

So, I decided to go home.
Having no ez-link, no coins and no notes, I thought, heck, just walk la.
Walking in the rain is not so bad anyway..

But because I was sooo absorbed looking down at the puddles and trying to avoid cars and busses splashing dirty rain water on me, I didnt realise the cats-and-dogs-rain has become storm-rain.
The supposedly 10 mins walk also became 50 mins walk.
There is no need to tell you that by now, I was drenched(altho I had umbrella).

When I finally stopped at the traffic light, and I looked up, I thought,
"damn. I could be strike by lightning any time."
Eventho I am very very short(yes I am..see I am not afraid to admit icaa =p)
, it was still scary because along the way home there is a LOT of trees. and you know how lightning likes trees.

SO, suddenly filled with fear, I ran home. Thank God I am still lucky to manage to reach home and still able to type now and still manage to give my sister a little surprise.

You know, I suddenly remember the newspaper that I read a few days ago.
It showed a road cleaner who was about 65-70 years of age cleaning the roadside when it was raining heavily. He did not stop for shelter at all, just keep picking up rubbish.
When a the writer asked the cleaner why he did not stop and wait till the rain stops,he said he was just doing his job and he declined to be named.

It is amazing how hardworking he is, and also amazing how he did not fear death. As compared to me, who ran like a chicken after considering the danger of lightning.

There are really some ordinary people that make you open your eyes and think, and it makes you learn a little more about life each day.

R for refreshment

Here is the real dancers/singers (in this case):


and here is the DEF dance school version:


AGAIN, i prefer the DEF's one.
DEF so gonna be my fav dance school! too bad its in korea :(
anyway I dont think i can make it even if they open branch in Spore.
anywaysss sorry I only post videos these few days. cos im having exam.
I know, you would then ask..you still got time to browse for video??

but hey! its my refreshment to avoid myself from turning mad because of stress!
hahahahhahaha

Country country

<3 country songs!! ^^

"applaud" for the prof

OH MY GOD. I seriously never encounter this kind of prof before.
I tell you, I am losing my patience.

My exam is like, next wed and he bloody hell never show any interest in teaching me or other students when we are like so lost, THANKS to him

Well, I have to blame myself and only me for choosing him.
lets start from the beginning, shall we?

Last term when I wanted to bid(in smu we have a stupid tradition of bidding for course and prof. I seriously dunno wads e point of doing that).
anw so eugene said, "lets take this L prof, the rest of the prof are too expensive, cannt bid for him alr."
and I also heard from ppl, that he is the most slack, not much work to do.
soo..hearing the word slack, I agree.

When I told my SIS (Smu sis) friends that I took him they were like,
"are you nuts??he hates SIS ppl!"
I said," no la..why would he.."
My friend said," I dont know..he always hates SIS students, and like always say SIS students always get the lousiest grades and all.."

But ignoring all that, I decided not to change prof, and give this "poor" prof prove whether my friends are correct or not.
So, the first few classes began. During my first class, I pity him. He is a retired prof from NUS and so u know how retired ppl look like, old and weak.
SO i PITY him. I really did, as looking arnd I saw nobody paid attention to him.

During his class, i always try to pay attention and he finally rmb my name.
i thought,"oh! this is not so bad. guess he doesnt hate me.."
BUT it apparently doesnt change the fact that HE IS NOT INTO TEACHING.

pleasee, even in JC, JC u know, your prof would be like so happy to teach you, dont even mind coming back in weekend when ur exam is coming.
how about this prof?
let see..
i emailed him,"Prof, can I see you on wed and thurs?"
(this was just a week before mid-term)
he said,"Dear vanessa,sorry my consultation hrs is only mon and tues 12-2 pm."
WTH.
I managed to JUST PASS for my mid-term.

now coming back to today, I emailed him again
(recap: my final exam is NEXT WED.)
"Prof, what time will you be free on wed, thurs, and fri? are you coming next week also? thank you."
He replied," I have other people coming to see me. Jennifer is coming tomorrow afternoon. Friday is good friday, I might not come."
I SERIOUSLY WANT TO SCREAM BY NOW.
like excuse meeee, Jennifer is coming to see you THE WHOLE FREAKING AFT isit??? are u going to date her or stg??goodness!!
and like, how abt thurs? and next week? are u even willing to teach students??
this kind of prof just sucks money out of students.
now, I understand why so many students hate you.

MEN dance

compare this:


with this:


I personally prefer guys who dance hip hop and like cool dance like in 1st video. Its SO SO MUCH BETTER than like rain's kind of dance.

Like guys in 1st video are much more manly than rain.hahahaa
but its a subjective opinion. anw enjoy the videos!

GREEN video

if you support go-green lifestyle, you will like this video.
its very engaging how she presents with some humors and interesting animation
:)

i am STILL a student

i lost my ez-link ytd! :(
was using it to print stuff, and then i accidentally left it.sianz.
i wanted to buy a new one then my friend told me that i should get the student one.
the orangy colour. i hate orange btw. why cant they have pink??haix

so i asked the officer whether i can get the orangy card then he looked at me and said,
"oh..this is the STUDENT card."
then i was like
"yaa..i am a student" (showing him my smu card)
then he said,
"you are a student??" with taht shocked look. heyyy wad is dat supposed to mean??
anw i continue saying ya i am and i still havent got mine whreas my friends have it alr.
only after that he gave me a hotline number to check for my card.

talking about i dont look like a student anymore made me piss off.
last time they din even believe i am past 16, but now they dont believe i am student.
do i look that old now??
relating to this, ytd i was showing my OOAD (a programming subject) groupmates my bf pic,
and then they were like "he looks so young!" and continue saying i am a paedophile.
damn it.
just a year ago ppl said he looked older than me
it must be his hair. MUST BE.
anw people, come onnnnn, liking a guy 2 yrs younger doesnt mean i am a paedophile alrite
geez..
im just too young at heart thats why i cant click with older guys.
:))

oh ya, ytd also was my 2nd visit to TAO. and the service there is excellent i tell you.
its a 6 course meal kind a thing.
and they are very very friendly and efficient.
they never make u wait long enough for the transition between 1 meal to another
and if they see a plate that is not empty yet, they will ask,
"is the food okay? or you don't like it? do you want to change to a different one?"
eventhough ppl like ica dont like this, but I sure do.(hehe sori cha)
altho if i really dont like the food i wont be able to change cos im too freaking full anw.

then, at the end, cos i was too impressed with their service, i started filling out the feedback form.I get this response from my bf
"why do u need to fill out the feedback form?ppl only do that when they are complaining you know."
ignoring him, i continue filling the form
after ticking excellent for every single option, i added a comment:
"your service is beyond excellent! thank you and keep up the good work!"
i was glad that i wrote that comment.

BUT this change after my bf read it.
he was laughing like mad at first, then he said he's embarrassed of me.
=.=
he said that the way i wrote the comment is like as though i am the stock holder of the restaurant.
i dont believe this and I personally think its alrite to say "keep up the good work."
no??

i need some comment. do say if you have an opinion and what do you usually do when you want to praise the restaurant.
:)

xoxo,vans

Personality Test

Oh ya, if you are interested to know what is your personality like, there is this very interesting website and apparently it is highly accurate, because its from some psychological school.

http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes2.asp

go on and try!!

cha, lona is particualrly interested in yours. she wants you to try.haha

WEIRD

Now, this thought came our fresh from the oven.
Just 5 min ago I went to the toilet.
and.. I got a shock in my life!!
I saw a guy in the ladies room!
Then I confirmed myself by looking around, and yes, I AM in the correct toilet.

SO its a butch.
Anyway, I was wondering for those kind of butches, why do they still bother going to ladies room?
They look so much like a guy no guys would guess anyway.
And even if they guess, I don't think the guys would be attracted doing anything to them in the toilet..right?

So..shouldnt they just go to men's room and just go to the cubicle inside?
They wouldnt be attracted to the men..so there would be no issue rite?

And it will solve everythg. people like me wont have to jump 3 metres high out of shock anymore.

Just a thought.

JOKES

I love jokes.
not much of the racist ones tho.
neways, here are some jokes i found on reader's digest for today's refreshment:

Anyone travelling on business for our company must fill out an expense report. A field on the form asks for "name on credit card". One einstein entered "Master Card".

A mobster discovers that his deaf accountant has cheated him out of ten million bucks. He confronts him, bringing along an interpreter.
"ask him where the money is", the mobster says.
The interpreter does so, and the accountant signs back,
"What are you talking about?"
The interpreter tells the mobster,
"He says he doesnt know what you are talking about."
The mobster puts a pistol to the accountant's head,
"Ask him again!"
The interpreter tells the accountant,
"He'll kill you if you don't tell him!"
"OK OK!"The book keeper signs back
"The money is buried behind the shed in my cousin's Paul's backyard!"
"What did he say?"ask the don.
The interpreter says,
"He says you don't have the guts to pull the trigger."

Have you ever wondered why sometimes when you read a joke it sounds funny but when you tell it to other people it doesnt sound funny?
Well, I did.
I was so nice telling these 40 people in my class about a joke before I began my presentation, and none of them laughed.
NONE. nil.zero.
Till now I don't know whats wrong. me or the joke.
anyway in case you wonder and want to decide for yourself whether it is funny or not, here goes:
(and I found it in reader's digest too)

A man was walking his dog at the park when he met his friend there. He told his friend,
"I want to eat in that restaurant but they wouldn't let the dog in."
Says the friend," Let me try. You should wait 5 minutes after I go in then you can go in."
So the friend and his golden retriver walked towards the restaurant.
"Sir,"said the waiter,"no dogs allowed."
The friend said,"But I am blind, And this is a guide dog."
The waiter apologized profusely and let him in.
Seeing his friend succeeded, the man too, tried the tactic.
When he did exactly like what the friend did,
the waiter looked at him suspiciously and said,
"you have a cihuahua as a guide dog?"
The man replied,
"What??They gave me a cihuahua??"

Have a nice day!
xoxo, vans

MOM & DAD

I want to dedicate this whole entry to my parents.
Gonna be a little bit sentimental on this one.

Anyway,this urge to write about my family came as I was swimming just now.
Suddenly a memory rushed back to me, bringing me back to like 10 years ago?
around that time, my mom used to bring my sis and I to swimming pool, sometimes she brought us for swimming lesson, or sometimes just as a form of relaxation and exercise.

I remember being very happy splashing water around and just having fun.
My mom would sometimes join us, or other times she just sat at the benches watching us play and swimming around. It is always the tradition that my mom would buy fries and fried rice and other food for us when we are very hungry after swimming. So we would come up for 15 mins, ate full, then dipped in again. Thinking now, then all the calories burnt during the swimming would go to waste isnt it? but child being child, I think full stomach and happiness were the one that matter. not being slim.

Then, one thing I always remember about my dad is that everytime there was power break down at our house, and it is Indonesia, I remind you, so it happened quite often.
Then my parents would drive around, my sis and I at the backseat. They would drive and drive until we both fall asleep. Oh, another weird thing, is that when I was small, I could not sleep so easily, so my dad had to drive on bumpy road! if not i wouldnt fall asleep.

Once we reached home, my dad would carry us all the way to the room and he always kissed us on the cheek with his moustache and all that. And last time, when his moustache brushed again my cheek, I will get very very disturbed and will kick him until he went away.

Haix. Thinking about all that makes me sad.
I think I was very ungrateful as a child. I love my parents so very very much, which is my main reason why I do not want to grow up. I hate growing up. I want to stay as anak mami papi forever( translation: daddy's and mommy's little child). I want to always stay with them and being cared by them.

Call me childish or manja. Whatever. I don't care. My sole reason of being alive is them.
Those of you that might take their love for granted, think again. You wouldn't be here if its not because of them.

Now I could understand why my parents always still think of me of little child. Even though I constantly plead them to give me more freedom or treat me like an adult, they will try, but most of the time they failed. But I understand. As they realize Im getting older, I will drift away more from them, I won't appreciate their love and care as I used to when I was small. Thats why they always think of me as their little child.

I'm sorry mom and dad. Sorry for hurting your feelings. I will always stay as your little child, I promise. I love you.