JOKES

I love jokes.
not much of the racist ones tho.
neways, here are some jokes i found on reader's digest for today's refreshment:

Anyone travelling on business for our company must fill out an expense report. A field on the form asks for "name on credit card". One einstein entered "Master Card".

A mobster discovers that his deaf accountant has cheated him out of ten million bucks. He confronts him, bringing along an interpreter.
"ask him where the money is", the mobster says.
The interpreter does so, and the accountant signs back,
"What are you talking about?"
The interpreter tells the mobster,
"He says he doesnt know what you are talking about."
The mobster puts a pistol to the accountant's head,
"Ask him again!"
The interpreter tells the accountant,
"He'll kill you if you don't tell him!"
"OK OK!"The book keeper signs back
"The money is buried behind the shed in my cousin's Paul's backyard!"
"What did he say?"ask the don.
The interpreter says,
"He says you don't have the guts to pull the trigger."

Have you ever wondered why sometimes when you read a joke it sounds funny but when you tell it to other people it doesnt sound funny?
Well, I did.
I was so nice telling these 40 people in my class about a joke before I began my presentation, and none of them laughed.
NONE. nil.zero.
Till now I don't know whats wrong. me or the joke.
anyway in case you wonder and want to decide for yourself whether it is funny or not, here goes:
(and I found it in reader's digest too)

A man was walking his dog at the park when he met his friend there. He told his friend,
"I want to eat in that restaurant but they wouldn't let the dog in."
Says the friend," Let me try. You should wait 5 minutes after I go in then you can go in."
So the friend and his golden retriver walked towards the restaurant.
"Sir,"said the waiter,"no dogs allowed."
The friend said,"But I am blind, And this is a guide dog."
The waiter apologized profusely and let him in.
Seeing his friend succeeded, the man too, tried the tactic.
When he did exactly like what the friend did,
the waiter looked at him suspiciously and said,
"you have a cihuahua as a guide dog?"
The man replied,
"What??They gave me a cihuahua??"

Have a nice day!
xoxo, vans