a cynic.

altho this is rather personal, but I really feel the need to get it out of my head and heart. and since whoever that have access to my blog should be people I trusted..so here goes..

I broke up w my latest bf because of my commitment problem.
Put it simply, I cannot commit to just one person >.<
call me whatever terms u can come out with.. but I'd rather do that then pretend I can, while doing stg disloyal to him..

I have a rather weird point of view, very unlike Asian u can say.
I don't want to get married. why? u may ask?
1. I don't trust anyone. especially guys. Guys who are loyal are like 1 out of 10. If you are lucky you get that 1, if you are not, u may think he is the 1, but... I dunno do u believe in e statement "what u dunno wont hurt u?"
2. I don't think I myself can commit to 1 person for the rest of my life.
3. I would rather work my ass off then staying at home bearing children. no offense to anyone who would prefer the opposite, im just a little bit of an workaholic >.<
4. I am an egoistic person. Myself and my parents are number 1 in my life. No one else will come close.

Because of the reasons I stated above, I think it would be more fair if I get into un-committed relationships because I don't want anybody to get hurt.

However, I won't deny that I might fall in love one day, and get married and have children. But I sincerely doubt it.. I was that kind of person last time, VERY INTO commitment. I dunno what changed me, but it is not at all my ex or exes fault..

I can cry because of watching some romantic drama or movie, but believing in it not so. I am quite cynical about this.. >.< Again, please no offense to anyone. Please read this post with an open mind, and if you feel offended feel free to stop right now and say "go to hell u heartless moron! "

anyway, I will be leaving Asia soon, and perhaps I will be leaving my Asian values too..
I always hope to get a European citizenship..but I am always wondering should I let go of my Indonesian citizenship or should I hold on and get a dual citizenship??
what do u all think??

A penny for your thought :)

French teacher is here! cheers everyone!

@ Pekanbaru

FINALLY! The woman accepted my application already, After much fuss again, of course. Last minute she asked us to make another copy of the document, when behind her clearly there was a copying machine. My grandpa had to run to find photocopy machine because she said she was closing in 10 mins time..=.=

but wahtever finally its over and im back at Pekanbaru.
My visa would probably come out arnd mid Dec..till then Im just at Pekan studying French 4 hours a day. I can tell you, French is MUCH MORE difficult than english.
Every single thing has a sex. Like table is a femina, livre(buku) is a mascula.
I can go on and on about how confusing it is, but im not here to teach French >.<

Nothing funny happened to me yet...so till then! ^^